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August 03, 2012

An update…

(This post started out as a Finish It Friday post. But a different post came out of me instead. I will post my Finish It Friday post later today. Check back soon.)


Last week I mentioned that there have been some things going on around here this summer…some good and exciting stuff, as well as some challenging things. Today I want to (finally) share about the challenging stuff.


Three years ago my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. I have avoided making a widespread announcement about this for a few reasons, but here are the two biggies. First, was out of respect for my Dad’s privacy. Just because I have a blog and share stuff about my life in this public space doesn’t mean he signed up for the same. So…I thought it was best to hang low about it. And that decision was supported by my second reason: it has always been my goal to keep this blog as positive as possible. And I couldn’t quite figure out how to mix cancer and positive messages.


But it’s also really important to me that this blog be authentic…about real life. And here’s the thing: real life involves happy times and sad times. I think I would be doing you a disservice if I pretend that everything is hunky dory in my life all of the time. It isn’t. It isn’t for me. And it isn’t for anyone else either. We all have ups and downs. It’s part of what this life experience is all about.


My dad has done really well for the past three years—much better than anyone expected based on the type of cancer he has. He has remained positive and active. He has continued to do all the things he loves to do. And he has continued to laugh. (I love his laugh.) To say that he has inspired me in the past three years doesn’t do justice to what has really gone on. I am, quite simply, in awe of him.


My Dad and me three years ago, right after the diagnosis. 


In April we went to Michigan to visit him and he was doing great. Sure, he was more tired than three years ago. But all in all, he was good. He looked good. He was active. He was laughing. It was a really nice visit. He was scheduled to start another round of chemo a short while after we left. And he was very optimistic. He had done really well with his past treatments and they definitely helped.


But this time it has been different. He has had complications that have put him in the hospital twice. He has very little energy. And he isn’t currently able to do many of the things he loves to do. But he does still find a way to laugh…just about every time I talk to him.


So my heart is heavy right now, my friends. Very heavy. And as I said last week, my heavy heart has definitely hampered my creative juices. But maybe having this out in the open will help. We shall see.


I’ll keep you posted. 



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My heart is heavy for you, Aby. All my best to your Dad.

Stephanie Pezolet

Dear Abby,
I am sad to read about your Dad. I will definitely be praying for him and your family.
I don't really know what else to say excpet: hang in there, both of you!


I'm so sorry to hear about your father Aby. I am in a similar situation. I moved to Colorado a few years ago from Michigan. This past March, my father told us he had lung cancer. Then we found out it was stage IV and had spread all over. He is currently on his fourth and final round of chemo. I talked to him a day ago and I was shocked to hear his voice. He sounded like a 90 year old man. This once vibrant, funny, charming man has been reduced to a tired old man and it's so painful to hear. We will be seeing him soon but it's not soon enough. Feel free to email me if you need a shoulder and I will send you my phone number right away.


Sending hugs and prayers your way Aby. xxx


Aby (and Deanna too),

You are in my prayers. I cared for my mother at home for her final year when she was overcome by cancer. I learned that life becomes more meaningful during the times we are challenged by illness and pain and sadness and fear. It is those times when we lean on each other more. We open our hearts more. We share more. We love more. We even laugh more.

I hope you are surrounded by the love and support you need. May you be a blessing to your father, and he to you.

Denise Bombardelli

I'm very sorry for your dad. My mother-in-law died of cancer two months ago ... is very hard. I'm with you and I am sending you a big hug.


Thank you some for opening yourself up to us, Aby. It's so clear from your writing (not just today's post but others as well) how close you are to your dad and what he means to you. And I was afraid that this might be the challenge you are currently faced with. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your entire family.

Dottie K

I'm sorry to hear about your dad Aby. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. You do what you need to get you through these tough times. I think Susan said it best, may you be a blsessing to your father, and he to you. Hugs, Dottie

Deanna I will keep you and your family in my prayers also.


Aby thank you for the update and so sorry to hear how hard it has been ~ huge hugs from me and baby hugs from A. We love laughter too... the memories of it last forever :)

Debra E

My thoughts and prayers go out to you, your dad, and your entire family.


Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers and compassion. I really appreciate it more than you know.

Deanna, I'm so sorry you are going through something similar. I really appreciate your offer of a phone call. That is so kind of you. I hope you are able to see your dad again soon. Being far away definitely makes this all the harder.

Hugs to you,



Prayers to you and your family!


So sorry to hear this Aby. Sending prayers for your dad, you and your family. HUGS.


Aby, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I'll be keeping him and you in my prayers. I hope sharing with your readers and knowing so many prayers and heartfelt wishes are being sent for both of you will help lighten your heart.


I'm so very sorry to hear this. You and your dad and the rest of your family are in my prayers.


I'm sorry to hear about your dad Aby. Prayers for him and your family.


Aby--so sorry to read this. I have no wise words, I'm afraid, only warm thoughts, for both you and your father.

Mari Carmen Pérez

So sorry Aby.

I send you and all your family hope and luck to face those difficult moments.




I am so sorry that this is happening to your Dad and to you. I am at loss for words but wanted to tell you how sorry I am to hear it.

You are in my thoughts.


Aby ~ I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Lots of prayers and well wishes to your whole family.

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