The New Normal
Yesterday marked one month since my Dad passed away. It seems hard to believe that it has already been a month. At the same time it seems hard to believe that it has only been a month. The new normal is one where time doesn’t feel the same as it did before. Some days go quickly…and some days drag on and on and on.
I remember right after my Dad passed away how I wished that time could somehow stop. Temporarily. Just. Stop. Let me catch my breath. Give me the space to make sense of it all.
The fact that life does go on, as if nothing has happened, is both a blessing and a huge source of confusion. It is so hard to believe that the world just keeps on spinning like it always has. Like nothing is different. Doesn’t the world know that something is now terribly different? That something really important is missing? That there is a huge, huge hole that I don’t think will ever be filled?
And yet, the world keeps spinning.
Every single day people all over the world die. And their loved ones experience what I am experiencing now. And that, too, is hard to believe when you’re in the midst of it all. That this new normal is in fact just plain normal.
The new normal is one filled with ups and downs. There are good days and bad days, or more accurately, at this point, bad moments in mostly good days. And then there are the moments when I remember that it is real. He really is gone and is never coming back. That life without him is the new normal.